What's going on you ask me ...
It's june already. I wanted to blog this end of may but somehow, life struck me again and I found myself with time slipping away rapidly while I was constantly hanging between getting caught up with the business or the total opposite; which was removing myself entirely from it all.
I took a break, some of you might have seen the earlier blog or some statusses or know me personally. Either way a short version: after the year 2017, which I still consider the worst year of my life ever and probably hard to beat ever, has left a deep impression on me of the negative kind. I felt deeply unhappy and uninspired and it affected all professional, artistic & personal areas. I decided to just take an entire break from it for a month when it came to scheduling new clients (and moved them to may) & I didn't touch my personal work. Eventually, my personal work decided to go on a break for over 2 months that flew by and it was seriously on of the best steps for me to take. I'm a workaholic and for me not-shooting was battling an addiction; which is hard but its worth going through.
Now in retrospect it has given me some important lessons:
1. I was able to distant myself from my personal views & opinions and focus on what was important in the business. I've let a lot of details slip by & right now I'm heavily working on implementing a new system and workflow to ensure a much better service.
2. I've realised my photography is - a business - and not just a passion anymore where I can do what I want. It's a very subtile difference to explain but it has a massive impact: I can do everything I want; of course. But I must also be aware that I have a certain brand & visual which might clash. It is entirely fine for me as I've realised how varied I can go. On the other hand: I shouldn't let me work thrive on passion alone; it requires a lot more brainwork. Which is also fine; as I actually love everything around it!
3. I don't want to be a fantasy photographer (alone) anymore. I love creating all these worlds, make a living of people in armor that are here to make their childhood dreams come true or feel like a true warrior ready to face anything ahead, the opportunity to transform.
For me it was just not what I wanted anymore to work on: I need variety, challenges, new things & styles. Routine is a creativity killer for me and I feel I need to play up my game and bring all this knowledge and costumes into a new light chasing new opportunities.
Right now I call it "modern fantasy" and it's basically using my aesthetics and style to create a new style of images (similar to my "Eden Project" - but modern/"commercial")
4. I achieved a major dream (running this as a business), it made me very happy & very sad after. Like I mentioned above: I need challenges and things to create out of my zone because I realised how ambitious I am. I want to get in places, create more & bigger. Inspire others, see what else I can reach in life. Just sitting here, doing the same over & over again is what I fear the most and it has become that routine. So it's time for me to change things up; because that's also the only way my business can and will grow.
Looking back: 2017 is something I needed to happen; even though it was a bit over 9000 in drama and stress. It has given me an immense bagpack of experience and new life experience for someone my age (I'm 27 fyi) that will allow me to grow more, let me business grow and experience life to a whole new level. More down to the ground, with a head less in the cloud and my two feet on the ground. I've learned to make time for what's needed and who's worth it; I work less and get more done. I'm working towards some new really exciting opportunities and I have new goals and dreams to chase.
Oh and I'm creating again. And it feels amazing.
Thank you for believing in me and supporting me through 2017 and the months past from 2018. You know who you are ...