Musing Mondays: Adventure zone

About "Musing Mondays" 
*Musing Mondays is a series of blogs I release every week with my own thoughts regarding the my work as artist & the process behind it. I wanted to do this as online diary, both showcasing what happens when you're a full-time artist and being more transparent at the same time*

It's yet another monday, which means it's time for the series of blog called "Musing Mondays" - where I talk about things on my mind. And to be honest; it's a lot right now I don't even know how to translate it into words yet (I will try below for something I'm now most busy with):

Creating art & being an artist is a rocky road. If you do it professional, it usually gets a whole lot more tricky because the passion of art changes into the determination of running a business as your job. This is something I have finally found peace with and placed in my mind and it's allowing me to work towards my future & my goals. On the other hand right now; I'm struggling with placing in my own personal emotions towards creation and the process of it - after switching to a more professional point of view.

So I decided to take a break, which I've done and still am doing from creating any personal work in april. It's something I'm going to push on a little bit longer while I'm starting to put things together to start picking it up again during may & june. This is partially because I don't feel ready yet to create; but also to "teach" myself to not dive heads over heels into something and create something that isn't something I can put in my portfolio (which has now become my main goal).  It's a more strict way of creating but I feel approaching my work & projects as a commission that needs preparation I feel it might push myself further. Currently I feel like I've hit a wall both technically & artistically and while I could practice on older work; I want to challenge myself with full new sets entirely dedicated to this approach.

I used to create out of an emotional way of dealing with both reality and to make "myself more useful" to the world. It's something I could fairly easily do and I felt like a valueble human constantly sharing work on social media and receiving the appreciation of it. Of course like this, it's impossible to grow as I stayed inside my comfort zone(s). So it's time to both create for myself again and feed my inner artist but also go outside my comfort zone and create work that will level me up (hopefully) and push me out there more again.

Reading like this it feels like a major issue and something very hard to do but honestly: I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time both professional, artistivally & in my personal life. It's a lot of big words and talking; but it's good on the other hand because it means I'm not going into circles but pushing down to the matter and trying ways to solve the situation instead of just hiding behind more work for social media. I love working and thinking and creating; I just need to figure out how to do it properly and with success (or at least with the intention to do so).

Artists. We're a constant work-in-progress ourselves I guess ...